How and What I feel....

No offense but I don't feel the spirit of Christmas this month. Gosh... I sound mean but that's what I feel. Nevertheless, I'm still trying to look excited though I'm not! My house has decorations already but where's the people that should celebrate Christmas? Well... They're not here.... They're busy... I know it's not yet December 25 well.. guess what.. I'm sick and tired of trying to do something so that my parents would know I'm still here. You know, sometimes I wanna slap them... They ignore but what... I can't help it... I'm the least of their priority.. Anyway.. going back to Christmas... Wish I'd celebrate it with my friends.. They're more like my family than my own family.. No offense to my family... Decorations in my house are just decorations.. They put it there so that people will say that people will say that "Oh, they're so christmasy". I'm so damn tired of it... damnit.. I shouldn't  be swearing but I can't help it.. I'm so disappointed. To tell you the truth, I think my parents are doing things for me because they are oblige to.. Gosh I'm soooo far from the topic.. I know I know... I just can't help but say these things to you. gosh... I should stop.. Anyway... sorry for this...